


Confession is Good for the Soul

by LadyOxymoron



Series: This World Inverted [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, alcohol consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyOxymoron/pseuds/LadyOxymoron
Summary: Magnus is still concealing his magic from Alec, fearful to lose him.Some liquid courage may be the push Magnus needs to say what he is afraid to say sober.**Or a TWI fic written for the SHbingo square “Drunken Confessions”.
Relationships: Alternate Magnus Bane/Alternate Alec Lightwood (Shadowhunters: This World Inverted), Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: This World Inverted [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604119
Comments: 28
Kudos: 237
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories, SHBingo





	Confession is Good for the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably make more sense if you've read the previous installment but I think it can stand alone as well, especially after the first part.

Magnus watches in trepidation as the swirling light of the angelic portal envelopes Alec, lighting his silhouette up with an ethereal glow. If not for the significance of the moment, Magnus would have appreciated the sight. 

Alec's body arches and freezes in place and Magnus wants to reach out and touch him but he doesn't dare, too afraid to interrupt the process and lose his Alexander for good. 

The light slowly fades, leaving only a faint shine behind. Finally, Alec's body falls in slow motion against the mattress and stills. 

"Alexander?" Magnus calls, worry kicking his heartbeat up a notch. "Alexander, love?" 

Magnus breathes a sigh of relief as Alec stirs and slowly blinks his eyes open. For a moment, they're confused and out of focus and Magnus is afraid something has gone wrong. 

But then Alec's eyes clear and his lips stretch into a smile. "Hey, babe," he says and Magnus could weep at the familiar endearment. 

"Are you okay?" Magnus asks, reaching out and cupping Alec’s cheek. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" Alec asks, his brow adorably furrowed into a frown. "I had the strangest dream, though." 

"Hm?" Magnus hums in inquiry, even though he has a few ideas about the nature of the dream. 

"I was in a church-like place, with strange people," Alec says, sitting up straighter. "There was a blonde woman in a bridal gown, lovely gown but I would have chosen a different cut for the cleavage. Anyway, she was standing in front of me and was holding this metal stick against my wrist." Alec pauses and screws his face up in concentration. "I think I saw Jace."

"What else?" Magnus asks, heart racing. 

"I don't remember much else," Alec says, shaking his head. “Wait, everyone was covered in strange tattoos.”

"How-” Magnus pauses and tries to look for the right words. “Peculiar. Are you okay?" He asks again, smoothing Alec's hair off his forehead. 

"Yeah, babe, it was just a dream," Alec says with a grin. "Next time remind me to lay off the gin." 

And this is it. This is the opening Magnus needs to come clean and explain everything. This is his chance to talk to Alec about the shadow world and his magic. 

"Alexander," Magnus says, trying to gather the nerves to start talking but he's interrupted by Alec's lips over his own. 

He kisses Alec back with everything he has, making a tiny sound at the back of his throat at the familiar feeling of Alec's tongue gliding against his own, relishing Alec's hand on the back of his head keeping him close, relishing the closeness after the time apart. 

''You were saying? Alec asks, low and breathless.

And Magnus is suddenly afraid. There's a voice at the back of his mind that's urging him to shut up, to not be a fool and ruin everything he has. 

Magnus thinks about the talk he's had with the Alec from the other world, the grumpy one. He thinks about their parting words and his not quite promise to tell his Alec the truth. 

"Nothing, love," he says, shifting close to Alec. "Let's get back to sleep." 

_Tomorrow,_ he thinks. 

***

It's not until after breakfast that Magnus is harshly reminded of his pressing concerns. 

The reminder comes in the form of a kiss on his shoulder and a murmured, "What are we going to cook for tonight?" 

Magnus freezes. "Tonight?" He asks but he already knows where this is going. 

"Hm, dinner with my family, remember?" Alec says, confirming Magnus' fears. 

"Are you sure it is tonight?" Magnus asks, in a not-so-clever attempt to stall. 

Magnus is aware that while Alec has experienced just a glimpse, two days have passed in their world. 

He watches in horrified anticipation as Alec reaches out and grabs his phone from the kitchen counter. 

Alec unlocks the screen and hums in assent, unaware of the way Magnus' heart is threatening to hammer its way out of his ribcage. "Pretty sure, yeah."

 _What?_ Magnus thinks, bewildered. He dares to look at the phone and has to blink as the date of two days ago stares back at him from the screen. He blinks again and rubs his eyes but the date doesn't change.

The relief is almost enough to make him weak at the knees. 

"You okay?" Alec asks, bringing him out of his reverie.

"Yes," Magnus croaks out, heart still racing. "I hadn't realized what day it was, that is all." He tries his best to plaster a smile on his face. "So, grocery shopping?" 

Alec looks at him in concern but he doesn't press the matter. "Sure," he says, kissing Magnus and heading toward the bathroom.

Magnus allows himself to sag in relief against the counter only when he hears the sound of the water hammering against the walls of the shower.

Apparently, their timeline has been restored. Magnus is surprised he's been allowed to keep his memories but oddly grateful for it. 

He thanks his lucky star for the reprieve and tries to ignore the gnawing guilt in the pit of his stomach.

 _I'll tell him,_ he thinks. And he _will_ but not tonight, not when they have a dinner to host. 

_Tomorrow,_ he tells himself. 

***

  
  


They settle back into the usual routine. 

The thought of talking to Alec crosses Magnus' mind more than once, sometimes keeping him up late at night. 

But he never can seem to find the right moment, the right words. 

Before he knows it, _tomorrow_ has turned into days, weeks, months. 

  
  
  


***

They are out for drinks at Pandemonium, a newly opened club downtown. It’s a pretty exclusive place and it’s all the rage lately, the large crowd of people dancing and drinking a testament to that. 

Magnus knows there’s an even bigger crowd of people outside, waiting for entrance.

They’ve managed to get in because Alec’s new client owns the place and Alec himself is partly responsible for the success of the club, considering the two launch events he organized were a huge hit. 

If Magnus has to be honest, clubbing has never been his scene. But he truly doesn’t mind accompanying Alec and watching him being such at ease in his element. 

With Alec, Magnus is rediscovering the pleasure of pushing his limits, to try new things. He thought he’d seen everything life had to offer him but with Alec there is always a new first. 

_Speaking of the devil,_ he thinks with a smile as Alec settles right next to him, wrapping one arm around Magnus’ waist and handing him a drink. 

Magnus takes it and smiles at Alec, leaning into his personal space to be heard above the music. “Thank you.” 

Isabelle and Simon are dancing a few feet to their right and Clary and Jace are sitting on the couch across from them. 

They’ve all had a few drinks already and Magnus is pleasantly buzzing, not too tipsy to be careless, tipsy enough to enjoy himself. 

Magnus wraps his lips around the straw and takes a long pull, humming his assent as the bittersweet taste of the cocktail hits his tongue. “This is good.”

Alec laughs quietly. “Thought you might like it.” 

Magnus takes another sip of his drink and settles back against Alec. “You know, a few more of these and you may even convince me to dance with you.”

They do end up drinking some more and Magnus finds himself on the dance floor, his inhibitions lowered to the point that he stops thinking about his moves and starts to let go, following Alec’s lead. 

When they get back to their table, they’re both sweaty and laughing and Magnus feels so light and careless he finally forgets the gnawing guilt that’s been consuming him ever since the other Alec came crashing into his life.

The evening is coming to an end and the music is lower now. There are fewer people on the dance floor and more of them sitting and chatting as they finish their last drinks. 

Simon offers to pay for the next round and heads to the bar without waiting for a reply, Jace in tow to help him carry the drinks.

Magnus is vaguely aware there’s a reason he doesn’t indulge in public or in Alec’s presence but he takes the glass Jace is offering him, unable to remember that reason and maybe a little unwilling to keep himself in check. Just this once. 

A few shots later and he is past the point of caring. It’s time to go home and they’re all laughing and heading toward the exit, Magnus leaning comfortably against Alec’s side. He’s tipsy enough to see the world spin as if he’s looking at it from a merry go round.

Alec keeps him steady as they get out of the club and looks at him with such fondness Magnus wants to smooch him. He doesn’t see a reason why he shouldn’t do it so he leans closer but ends up missing Alec’s lips and sloppily kissing his cheek instead. 

“You okay?” Alec asks, steadying him once more and looking at him in concern. 

Before Magnus can answer, Jace walks to them. “Cab?”

Alec glances at Magnus and shakes his head. “We’ll walk home,” he says and Magnus has never been so grateful for small mercies, considering his stomach rolls at the idea of riding in a car.

They say their farewells and Magnus has to focus on enunciating each word but he takes great pride in the fact that he manages to get through it without slurring his words.

Alec pulls him closer, wrapping a strong arm around his waist to keep him steady as they start to walk back.

They walk in silence and time is lost to Magnus. The cool air helps clear his head a little but he feels so relaxed and boneless that all he wants to do is crawl into bed and cuddle Alec until they both fall asleep. 

“Y’know,” he says, not bothering to keep his slurring in check now that they’re alone. “We’d get home much faster if I could open a portal.”

Alec lets out a quiet laugh. “A portal?”

Some part of Magnus knows he needs to shut up and laugh it off as a joke. That part of Magnus, however, is silenced by the tequila flowing through his system and telling him it's okay to confess everything and let go of the constant guilt. 

"Confess what?" Alec asks and Magnus realizes he's said it out loud. 

"Alexander, I," Magnus stops and turns toward Alec who's looking at him in a mixture of fondness and concern. "I need to tell you s'mething."

Concern wins the battle on Alec's face. "What is it, Magnus?" 

Magnus tries his best to look serious, to match the solemnity of the moment but he sways slightly in place. "Alexander, I am magic. I mean, I have a warlock, _fuck,_ am a warlock." 

Alec laughs, loud and relieved. He tugs Magnus close again and resumes walking. ''You had me worried."

"I'm serious," Magnus says, almost stumbling on a crack in the sidewalk. "I have magic."

"To open portals," Alec says and even intoxicated as he is, Magnus can hear the amusement in his voice.

"Well yes," Magnus says. "Among other things."

Alec laughs again and leans over to kiss Magnus' cheek.

Alec’s amusement rubs Magnus the wrong way. Determined to show Alec the truth, he looks around himself and notices they're a few blocks away from home. There are a few passersby but Magnus guesses they are either drunk or too wrapped in their own business to notice them. 

A thrill races down Magnus' spine as he focuses on his magic and brings it forward. It fizzles and dies on his fingers and Magnus squeezes his eyes shut and tries harder. 

"Ha!" He says, pointing at the faint portal that's materialized in front of him. "Here you go." 

Alec freezes and looks between Magnus and the portal, shock and something Magnus is too drunk to decipher on his face. "Magnus wh-" he swallows and gapes at the portal. "What the hell is this?"

"A portal," Magnus says as if it's the most natural thing in the whole world. He waves toward it but sways in place both because of the alcohol and because of the energy he's using to keep the magic flowing. "After you."

" _What?_ No." Alec takes a step back and glances around them, eyes wide. "Magnus, close that _thing_.”

“What are you afraid of?” Magnus asks, enjoying the unusual boldness that’s taken a hold of him. “It’s perfectly safe. Should bring us home. I’ll lead the way.” 

“ _Should_? What the fuck, Magnus?” Alec’s hand closes on Magnus’ forearm, stalling him before he can stumble toward the portal. “Look, I don’t know a thing about-” he glances warily at the portal. He looks bewildered and still shocked but to his credit he doesn’t back away from Magnus. “Portals, but I think you’re not supposed to walk in there drunk as you are.”

“‘m not drunk,” Magnus says but as if on cue, his stomach lurches and he has to place both hands on Alec’s chest to keep himself upright. He can feel the portal fizzle out of existence as he loses focus. 

Alec just shakes his head and manoeuvers him until Magnus’ arm is around Alec’s neck and Alec’s arm is firmly wrapped around Magnus’ waist. “Let’s get you home,” is all he says. 

Magnus’ head is spinning alarmingly faster now. He’s lucid enough to realize that in the state he was, still _is,_ conjuring that portal has taken its toll, draining most of his energy. 

Walking home proves to be a difficult task even with Alec holding him up as he is but they slowly make it to the elevator, where Alec does his best to manoeuver Magnus inside and keep him upright against the metal walls. 

Alec still hasn’t said a word and Magnus has been too focused on not tumbling down on the floor to break the quiet. 

The only noises in the elevator are the mechanic whirr of the cabin going up and the sound of their breath, made labored from the exertion. 

Magnus doesn’t have to focus on staying upright any longer but even in the state he is, he can sense the shift of mood. He can see the somber quality of Alec’s posture, the rigid set of his shoulders. 

He’s about to talk and break the awful quiet when the elevator’s bell dings, making both of them jump. 

Somehow, they manage to make it to Magnus’ bedroom without a hitch. 

Alec helps Magnus sit on the bed and kneels to take care of his boots. He works quickly and efficiently and soon, Magnus is stripped down to his underwear and being tucked in. 

Magnus sighs contentedly as his body melts against the mattress. There’s a warning bell at the back of his mind, a faint voice telling him he has to say something to Alec but he’s too tired to figure out what he should say and the bed is so comfy, the blankets so warm, his eyelids so heavy. 

“Stay?” he manages to slur out as darkness starts to creep at the edges of his consciousness. 

Silence stretches in the room until sleep claims him.

  
  


***

Magnus is awake, that much he knows. He’s awake but wishing he wasn’t. All the lovely effects of the alcohol are gone, replaced by a splitting headache and a sore throat, made sorer as he tries to swallow and it feels like someone is rubbing sandpaper against the inside of it. 

He’s sprawled in bed, too hammered to sit up properly, wondering who has taken out his tongue and replaced it with a cotton ball.

He tries to lever up an eyelid but squeezes it shut with a pained grunt as the sunlight filtering from the curtains threatens to fry his brain. 

“Never again,” he mutters to himself as a wave of nausea forces him upright and against the headboard, eyes still squeezed shut. 

When the events of the past night come rushing back to him, Magnus opens his eyes wide, ignoring the stabbing pain and reaching out to the other side of the bed. The movement is so sudden that he has to bring his free hand over his forehead to try to lessen the pain. 

“ _Oh God_ ,” he says as he feels the cold sheets under his fingers. 

The bed is empty. 

Alec is not there. 

Alec is gone.

Alec is gone and it’s all Magnus’ fault. 

Magnus rubs a hand over his eyes as the sharp sting of tears hits them. He thinks back to the previous night and wishes he was one of those people who tend to forget their drunken escapades. He isn’t, though, and as he walks through his actions, the heat of shame prickles his cheeks just as sharply as the tears prickle his eyes. 

_What have I done?_ He thinks. 

Magnus remembers how quiet Alec has been as he walked Magnus back home, as he stripped him and put him to bed. The fact that he’s been so kind to do so after what transpired, both hurts and warms Magnus heart. 

Magnus also remembers the silence after he asked Alec to stay. 

_So much for not leaving me,_ he thinks bitterly, reminiscing the other Alec’s words. 

Magnus doesn’t really blame Alec for leaving, aware that he’s too much to deal with. He blames himself for letting the alcohol loosen his tongue to the point of throwing caution to the wind and believing in a stranger’s words. 

_Your Alec won't abandon the people he loves. I know I wouldn't._

What a fool Magnus has been for believing it possible. 

Magnus shakes his head, wincing in pain as the movement brings another stab of pain through his skull. It matches the sharp ache in his heart.

What makes everything worse is the awareness that he’s put his Alexander in danger. 

He lays there, horrified, remembering the portal. Magnus knows he was too drunk to properly focus on a location and if not for Alec’s foresight, they could very well have ended up lost in limbo. 

Another wave of nausea hits him at the realization that he was about to gamble with Alec’s safety, and this time it’s too strong to be ignored. 

Overwhelmed, he presses a hand over his mouth and rolls off the side of the bed. He barely makes it to the bathroom. 

Some time later, Magnus forces himself upright and flushes the evidence of all of his failures, dragging himself to the sink. 

Magnus’ throat is still burning as he slowly makes his way out of the bathroom. He glances toward the bed and the temptation to just crawl back under the covers and hide away for the rest of his life is alluring. The need for water and caffeine is, however, stronger. 

He starts to turn around when his gaze lands on the glass of water and the aspirin laying on his bedside table. His eyes start to prickle anew at the realization that Alexander must have left them there for him. 

Magnus swallows and forces the tears back, hoping against hope that this small offering means their relationship is still salvageable, that maybe Magnus hasn’t fully scared Alec off yet. 

Magnus knows he could brew himself a hangover potion but it’s been so long since he’s needed one and he’s not sure he has everything he needs. There’s also a part of him that believes he should heal the mundane way so he reaches out with trembling hands and grabs the small pill, placing it in his mouth and swallowing it down with the water. 

Fresh and soothing as it is, a glass of water feels like a drop over a fire and Magnus finds himself still parched. He sighs and heads out of the room, trudging to the kitchen where he grabs a bottle of water and runs through the process of making coffee, working on autopilot. 

He leans back against the kitchen counter as the bitter aroma fills the room, both comforting and nauseating. 

“Is there enough for me too?”

Magnus is so lost in his own head that Alec’s voice makes him jump. Then the realization that somehow Alec _is still there_ cancels out everything else. He staggers and braces himself against the counter, fingers gripping its edge so tight they hurt. 

“You’re here,” Magnus whispers, not daring to look away from Alec for fear he’ll disappear. 

Alec looks as ragged as Magnus feels and if the dark circles under his eyes are any indication, he hasn’t slept much, if at all. “Yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “You were pretty out of it last night and I didn’t-” he swallows. “I didn’t want to leave you on your own.”

“You weren’t in bed,” Magnus says and winces at the hurt he can feel in his own voice. A hurt he thinks he has no right to feel but can’t help nonetheless. 

“Yeah, well,” Alec says, lowering his gaze to the floor. “I needed some space to think.”

“And have you?” Magnus asks, cautious and afraid, heartbeat so fast he’s surprised he can’t hear it thump against his ribcage. 

“Magic, uh?” Alec asks, avoiding the question and Magnus isn’t sure whether it’s a good sign or not. 

He swallows and nods. “Magic.” 

Alec nods back but stays quiet, his face unreadable and terrifying because of it. 

The silence stretches for so long Magnus fears Alec isn’t going to say anything else to him. “Alexander, I-” he starts, voice low and hoarse. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Alec asks and for the first time since last night, he looks angry. “For not telling me? For lying to me for, how long, Magnus? A year? More?”

“Yes,” Magnus says, still bracing himself against the counter. “Yes, Alexander. For all of that and more. I-” He grips the edge tighter to fight the urge to reach out and touch Alec. “I should have told you.”

Alec nods, sharp and jerky. “You should have,” he says and now he sounds more hurt than angry. “Why didn’t you?”

And this is the heart of it, isn’t it? Magnus breath gets stuck in his throat as he considers his reply. There are a hundred things he could say to justify his actions, lots of excuses he could find for himself. In the end, he realizes that if has a small chance to save his relationship, he needs to settle for the raw truth. 

“I was afraid,” he says and the admission comes just as hard as he imagined but Alec deserves it so he forces himself to go on. “I was terrified of losing you.” 

“Losing me?” 

“Yes, Alexander, losing you,” Magnus answers. “Don’t tell me you are okay with all of this,” he lets go of the counter and waves his hand around himself. “I know this is too much to swallow and I wouldn’t-” he takes a deep breath and forces himself to end the sentence. “I wouldn’t blame you if you left.” 

“I’ve thought about it,” Alec says and his words stab Magnus through the heart, sharp and deep. “I’m not gonna lie, Magnus. So yeah, last night I thought about leaving but not for the reason you’re thinking.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I still don’t know what to make of all of this. Magic is a big thing, you know?” Alec says, reaching out to grab the pot of coffee. “I’m still not sure I haven’t dreamed the whole thing, that I’m still dreaming.” He opens a cabinet and takes out two cups, pausing his speech as he fills them and hands one to Magnus, who thanks him with a silent nod. “My boyfriend is a warlock and I am gonna need some time to make sense of it. That wasn’t what made me think about leaving, though.”

“It wasn’t?” Magnus asks, heart beating faster. 

“Give me more credit than that,” Alec answers and the hurt on his face matches the ache in Magnus’ heart. “I was surprised, shocked even, but I wasn’t about to ditch you for something you can’t help.”

“You were not about to,” Magnus repeats, leaving the sentence hanging and waving his hand around in a helpless gesture. 

Alec’s face softens just a little. “No I was not. I didn’t spend all that time trying to woo you just to ditch you at the first hardship,” he says as if being told your boyfriend is a warlock is just a _hardship_. “But I don’t like being lied to. And knowing you were keeping something this big from me, realizing you didn’t trust me enough to talk to me, well, that was what made me think about leaving.”

“But you didn’t,” Magnus says, stating the obvious since Alec is very much _here_ and not gone and it’s enough to twist Magnus’ stomach in knots. 

“Yeah, I didn’t.” Alec closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, his fingers wrapped so tightly around his cup that Magnus can see the white of his knuckles. “You were wasted and I needed to cool off but I didn’t want to leave you in that state so I just-” he gestures toward Magnus’ living room. “I settled on the couch. Plenty of time to think when you can’t sleep.”

“Alexander, I’m sorry,” Magnus says, noticing once more how ragged Alec looks, how dark are the circles under his eyes. “I-”

“Were you gonna tell me?” Alec asks, sharp and sudden, interrupting Magnus. 

“Yes,” Magnus says without hesitation, making sure he’s looking into Alec’s eyes as he speaks. “I’ve meant to tell you ever since I knew what we had was serious. Even more so since..” he trails off and takes a deep breath. “There’s something else I need to tell you. Remember that dream you had a few months ago? The people with the strange tattoos?”

“Yeah,” Alec says, slow and wary. “What about it?” 

“Maybe it would be better if we brought this conversation to the living room,” Magnus says, apprehension racing down his spine. “I could use to sit down.”

Alec’s eyes soften as his assessing gaze rakes over Magnus, who is aware he looks dreadful. “Let’s go sit on the couch,” Alec says, already turning around and heading out of the room. 

Magnus empties his coffee cup with a long pull and places it down on the counter. He follows after Alec, hating the way his hands tremble. 

Once they’re settled on the couch, Alec turns toward him and they’re so close Magnus could reach out and touch him. They’re so close Magnus _wants_ to reach out and touch him but he doesn’t know if he’s still allowed to do so. 

“What about the dream?” Alec urges, voice hoarse but not unkind. 

And Magnus takes a deep breath and launches himself in his tale. He tells Alec about his counterpart, about their ordeal, about how they worked together to help the other Alec go back home. 

They have to pause when Magnus’ throat gets too dry and Alec goes to fetch a bottle of water for him. 

Magnus drinks and tells Alec that the world he’s seen in his “dream” is a real world, that those people were real people. He takes his time answering all of Alec’s questions, going over certain parts of the story again.

Magnus tells Alec about the guilt gnawing at him, about the overwhelming fear that he would lose Alec, about how he doesn't think he could afford to lose the person he considers _the one._

Alec mostly listens in silence through the entire tale, placing the occasional question and shaking his head in bewilderment from time to time but remaining otherwise quiet. But when Magnus gets to the last part of his speech, his head snaps up and he looks at Magnus in the eye. 

There's hope and a cautious question in his eyes. "You mean that?"

"I do," Magnus answers because yes, he does. "Alexander, I don't think I can live without you."

Alec closes his eyes briefly as if to process everything and then looks straight at Magnus. “I don’t want to lose you either,” he admits, low and hoarse. “But if we are to move forward, I need to know that you won’t keep anything else from me.”

“No more secrets,” Magnus agrees, daring to hope for the first time since he has opened his eyes. He swallows and takes a deep breath, bracing himself. “This is what you get. This is me. Your warlock boyfriend. Are you sure you can accept it?”

Asking the question takes everything Magnus has. He’s laid himself bare in front of Alec, voicing each of his fears but somehow asking a simple question is what threatens to unravel him. 

“You’re still the same man I fell in love with.” Alec swallows and reaches out to take Magnus’ hand and Magnus’ skin sings at the touch, in tune with his frantic heartbeat. “So yeah,” Alec says in the next exhale of breath and Magnus’ heart threatens to stop. “I’m gonna need some time to adjust but I’m not that easy to scare off.”

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus says and he doesn’t care if his voice cracks a little. “I love you too, my dear heart.” He pauses and turns his hand around, interlacing his fingers with Alec. “I understand we still need to talk about this and I promise I will answer any of your questions as honestly as possible.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” Alec says and his voice is soft and understanding now. “I don’t want you to go through things alone.”

And really, isn’t it a testament to Alec’s character that he’s worrying about Magnus, even now that he has every right to be _furious_ at Magnus? 

Magnus didn’t think he could love this incredible man more than he already does but Alec’s words somehow make his heart grow bigger. 

“What have I done to deserve you?” He murmurs, overwhelmed by Alec’s acceptance. 

“Oh, shut up,” Alec says, fond and soft and then proceeds to shut Magnus up with the gentle press of his lips. 

Magnus kisses him back, thanking every god he knows and a few he makes up on the spot for his minutius attention to personal hygiene which has forced him to wash his teeth twice after his unpleasant ordeal. He’s worried about lingering taste but by the way Alec deepens the kiss and pulls him closer, he doesn’t seem to mind. 

They kiss and Magnus’ heart races. It feels so much like their first kiss, his body humming with that same thrill of excitement and elation at the feeling that Magnus has this. That he _still_ has this despite everything.

When they draw apart, Magnus chases Alec’s lips for another quick peck and Alec takes the occasion to kiss him some more, until both of them are breathless and panting softly against each other lips. 

Alec cups Magnus’ cheek and brushes his thumb over Magnus’ cheekbone, then traces the spot under Magnus’ eyes with a gentle touch. His face softens. “You look like hell, babe.”

“There’s a reason I don’t indulge much, I’m afraid,” Magnus says with a small smile. 

“I noticed.” Alec snorts, the fondness on his face belying the mischief in his eyes. “Tequila loosens your tongue, hm?”

Magnus laughs quietly, recognizing it for the playful barb it is. “One could say it sends sparks flying,” he says, moving his hand as if he were using his magic. 

Alec lets out a startled laugh and shakes his head. “Don’t push it,” he says but he grabs one of Magnus’ hands and bring it to his lips, gently kissing his knuckles. “You don’t need magic to spark.”

It’s barely a murmur against Magnus’ fingers but Magnus hears it and it sends warmth through his chest, through every fiber of his body and soul. It’s the kind of warm that washes away months of guilt and settles against Magnus’ ribcage, making him believe they can make it, after all.

Magnus reaches out and takes a hold of Alec’s hand, still wrapped around his own. He squeezes it, trying to convey everything he can’t say, too overwhelmed to find his voice.

Alec smiles and draws Magnus to his chest and Magnus knows he understands everything Magnus is not voicing. 

Magnus has no idea how much they stay like this, close and unwilling to let go. In the end, the moment is broken when his stomach rumbles loudly. 

Alec startles and pulls back. “C’mon,” he says, standing and extending his hand toward Magnus. “Let’s get some food into you.”

Magnus takes Alec’s hand and lets him lead to the kitchen where they have a quick and plain breakfast, just some fruit and toast to not upset Magnus’ stomach further. 

After breakfast, Alec insists Magnus needs some more rest and Magnus considers protesting but in the end, he knows Alec is right. 

Alec takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom and the way he tucks him under the covers is oddly reminiscent of the previous night. 

“Stay?” Magnus can’t help but ask again. 

This time, Alec stays. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who made it to the end. 
> 
> Thank you to the organizers. And a huge thank you to Toby and the other lovely people in the sprints room.
> 
> I had so much fun playing with the TWI universe and I hope you enjoyed it just as much as I did. :)
> 
> (If you want to say hi, I'm on tumblr and twitter with the same handle.)


End file.
